You have your goals in front of you. You're motivated, you're committed, and you're determined to see things through successfully. And then it happens: you start running into obstacles along the way. You become distracted and start to lose focus. What's going on, and how can you fix it?
Oftentimes, those obstacles that crop up stem from some sort of relationship conflict in our life. Once you identify the source of the conflict that's getting in your way, you can take steps to resolve it. You can then get refocused on your goals with renewed energy, pressing on to achieve your desired outcome.
How do these relationship conflicts arise? Consider the following scenario:
After years of letting yourself go, you're determined to get into shape. You've said that before, but this time you're serious, and you have a solid plan in place to make it a reality. You signed up for a gym membership, and you hired a personal trainer. You haven't been at it for very long, but already you're starting to see changes, like sleeping better and having more energy throughout the day. You're enthusiastic about the road ahead, and in your excitement, you share your plans with a few close friends But rather than sharing in your excitement, one of your friends is lukewarm in her response. She reminds you about all the times you weren't successful in the past, and expresses doubt that you'll follow through this time.
It can be disheartening when the people closest to you don't rally around to support your plans. Instead, it can feel as if they're trying to throw cold water on your plans. In some cases, it might even seem as if they're deliberately trying to sabotage your efforts.
There are a variety of reasons why the people around you, including people you're close to and who care about you, might respond this way. They may be uncomfortable with the fact that you're serious about making changes. They may feel threatened or insecure about how those changes will impact their relationship with you.
Your changes might even make them feel self-conscious about their own issues. For instance, someone might lack the confidence to implement desired changes in their own life. As a result, it stings a bit when they see you doing things they wish they could be doing. Further compounding this is the fact that much of this tends to happen subconsciously; the person might not even realize they're projecting their issues onto you.
Regardless of what someone else is experiencing, you don't want it to lead to your plans being derailed. But protecting yourself doesn't mean you need to fall into zero-sum, win-lose thinking. Try to ascertain why the individual in question isn't being supportive, and take things from there. With someone that you're close to, like a significant other or best friend, you might want to provide reassurance that the changes you're making don't pose a threat to the relationship. With individuals you're not particularly close to, you may find it necessary to establish some distance, so as not to risk being dragged down by their discouragement or negativity.
Everyone faces challenges when they set out to accomplish something. Those challenges can quickly become an unsettling distraction, threatening your ability to keep focused and stay the course. By identifying what those challenges are and the underlying source of conflict, you can take charge and find ways to deal with the situation, so you don't find yourself completely sidetracked from your target destination.
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